Prioe* 25 Gents 



A 

Thanksgiving 

ConspLcy 



BT 

MARIE IRISH 



PAINE PUBLISHING CO. 

DAYTON, OraO 



MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS - 

Tliese songrs can be nsed in all manner of entertainments. The 
mugic is easy and both music and wo'rds are especially catchy. CiiUdren 
like them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price, 35 cento each. 

HERE'S TO THE LAND OPTHE STARS AND THE STKIFKS. 

(Bug-bee- Worrell.) A patriotic soAg: which every child should know and 
love. The sentiment is elevatingr. The music is martial and Inspiring. 
May be effectively sung by the entire school. Suitable for any occasion 
and may be sung by children or grown-ups. Be the first to use this 
song in your community. 

TJJL NEVER PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN. <Guptin-W6av0r.) A 
qviarrel between a small boy arid girl. The words are defiant and pert. 
The boy and hia dog have been in a3iischief> and the ismall maiden pout- 
ingly declares that she will never play with him again, but changes her 
mind in the last verse. A taking little duet for any occasion, with full 
directions for motions. 

JOLLY FARMER LADS AND LASSIES. (Irish-Lyman.) A de- 
cidedly humorous action song prepak-ed ^especially for district schools, 
it will make a hit wherever produce^. 

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. (Worrell.) Introduce this coon song 
into your next entertainment. If you use the directions for the mo- 
tions which accompany the music, the pickaninnies will bring down the 
house. Their black faces and shining eyes will guarantee a "hit." The 
words are great and the music just right. 

LULLABY LANE. (Worrell.) This song is one which the chil- 
dren, once having learned, will never forget. The words have the charm 
of the verses written by Robert Louis Stevenson. The music is equally 
sweet and is perfectly suited to the beautiful words. It may be sung 
as a solo by a little girl with a chorus of other little girls with dolls, or 
as a closing song by the whole school. 

BIY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE BUT THEE. (Worrell.) Here 
is a song that will arouse patriotism in the heart of every one who 
hears it. The music is so catchy that the children and grown-ups, too, 
just can't resist it. It makes a capital marching song. 

NOW, AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAME? (Guptill- Weaver.) 
This is a closing song which is quite out of the ordinary. There is 
humor in every line. The music is lively. Your audience will not 
soon forget this spicy song for it will get many an unexpected laugh. 
The motions which accompany this song make it doubly effective. For 
any occasion and for any number of children. 

WE ARE CREEPY LITTLE SCARECROWS. (Guptill- Weaver.) 
A weird, fascinating action song. You can't go wrong with this song. 
There are four verses and chorus. Complete directions accompany this 
song so that it may be featured as a song and drill, if desired. For any 
occasion and for any number of children. 

WE'VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. (Worrell.) 
This song will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful 
school days. They will recall just how "scared" they were when asked 
to sing or play or speak. The words are unusually clever. The music 
is decidedly melodious. It makes a capital welcome song or it may be 
sung at any time on any program with assured success. 

WE HOPE YOU'VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. (Wor- 
rell.) A welcome song that will at once put the audience in a Joyous 
frame of mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the 
success of your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, 
catchy. A sure hit for your entertainment. 

WE'LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. (Worrell.) This 
beautiful song has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and 
singers. It is just the song to send your audience home with happy 
memories of the occasion. 

Paine Publishing Gimpany Dayton, Ohio 



A Thanksgiving 
Conspiracy 



A Thanksgiving Play for Grammar 
and Junior High Grades 



BY 
MARIE IRISH 



PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY 

DAYTON. OHIO 



/x^** 



< 



CHARACTERS j > 

Grandfather Cole, feeble and cranky. 

' i his e^randchildren. 
Ada ) ^ 

Lemuel Dix, a farmer. 

BiMP, the butler. 

Sallie Evans, old maid. 

Kate, her maid. 

Mrs. Hale, the housekeeper. 

Mr. Ames, a solicitor. 

COSTUMES 

Mr. Cole — Hair powdered, white rhustache, dark suit, 
house slippers, carries a heavy cane. 

Lemuel Dix — chin whiskers, overalls, red handkerchief 
around neck. 

BiMP — white collar and shirt, cut-away coat, dark trous- 
ers, ''mutton chop" whiskers. 

Ames — dark mustache, business suit. 

Mrs. Hale — neat work dress, white apron, spectacles, 
hair old style. 

Kate — small white cap, dark gown, tiny white apron. 

Miss Evans — hair high on head, curls at each side of 
face^ stylish and fussy gown with lace and bright ribbons. 
In first scene large and much trimmed hat, and a coat. 

Fred and Ada — regulation costumes for ages of thirteen 
to fifteen. 

Time of playing — thirty minutes. 

Copyright, 192i, by Paine Publishing Compaoy 
2 

©CI.D 59e388 
:*./. DEC 16 1921 



A Thanksgiving Conspiracy 



Scene — The Cole living room. 
Discovered — Mr. Cole, Fred and Ada. 

Mr. Cole — Now, you don't need to argue with me. I 
guess I'm master here and what I say is the law {raps on 
floor with cane). 

Fred — But, Grandfather, the idea of not observing 
Thanksgiving day. 

Ada — Why, I think it's dreadful. 

Mr. Cole— Oh, you do ! Well, I don't. It's a silly cus- 
tom and I'm tired of it. Get up a big dinner — all foolish- 
ness ! Give thanks — bah, I've nothing to give thanks for. 
I don't want to hear any more about Thanksgiving plans. 

Ada — Well, Grandfather, don't you think — 

Mr. Cole — I don't think anything and I don't want to 
hear anything. 

Fred — But can't we — 

Mr. Cole {rapping with cane) — Be still, sir. This 
Thanksgiving discussion is closed {rings hell). 

Enter Bimp 
3 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

BiMP — Did you ring, sir? 

Mr. Cole — I did. I want you to carry my things to the 
Hbrary where I can sit in peace. 

BiMP — Very good, sir. {He picks up a hook, a paper and 
the footstool and follows Mr. Cole off stage. Cole walks 
with short, limping steps, using his cane). 

Ada — ^Oh, dear, won't it be horrid not to have a Thanks- 
giving dinner and some company ? 

Fred — Say, he's the Hmit. He gets worse all the time. 
Enter Bimp (with letter on tray). 

BiMP — A letter, sir. I think it must be for you, sir, 
since the writing looks so^ — well, like a young lady's, sir.. 

Fred {taking letter) — This having the same narne as 
Grandfather and not knowing whether mail is for him or 
me makes me tired {gazes at letter). I suppose I can open 
this, don't you think so, Bimp? 

Bimp — Yes, sir, I should say so, from its looks {hows and 
goes off). 

Ada — Oh, open it and see who it's from. 

Fred {opens and looks through letter) — Well, Fl'l de- 
clare! Listen to this {reads aloud). "Dear Cousin: I 
shall pass through your city on a trip I am taking and have 
decided to stop and spend Thanksgiving with you. I know 
we'll have a splendid time getting acquainted and I hope 
you'll be glad to see me. Your cousin, Sallie Evans." 
Now, WHO is Sallie Evans? 

4 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Ada — Oh, one of the cousins we've never seen. You 
know we have a. lot of them. But if she is to be here for 
Thanksgiving we've just GOT to have a good dinner. Per- 
haps Grandfather will change his mind now she is coming. 

Fred — Change his mind — he isn't that kind. 
Enter Mrs. Hale 

Mrs. Hale — Oh, now, isn't your Grandfather in here? 
I was wanting to speak to him about Thanksgiving. 

Ada — He's in the library. Mrs. Hale, isn't it dreadful 
that he says we can't observe Thanksgiving — can't even 
have a good dinner. 

Mrs. Hale — My, my, now, aint that a shame, an' me such 
a fine hand to get up splendid Thanksgiving dinners (shakes 
head). An' he's so set in his ways, too, I don't know what 
we'll do. 

Fred — Set in his ways — I'll say he's more set than the 
Plymouth Rock. 

Mrs. Hale — He says to me that we're not to have a 
turkey nor pun'kin pie, nor even cranberry sauce. My, my, 
now, to think of such a thing. 

Fred — An' I just got a letter that a cousin we've never 
seen will be here. What CAN be done? 

Enter Bimp 

BiMP {to Ada) — If you please, Miss, your Grandfather 
says you're to practice your music well, for you're tO' take 
your lesson this week same as usual, Miss. 

5 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Ada — Oh, I won't take a lesson on Thanksgiving day, so ! 

Fred — Say, something's got to be done. 

Mrs. Hale {shaking head sadly) — I don't know what. 
It's dreadful, now, not to keep Thanksgiving but v/hen your 
Gran pa says so it has to be so. He's so set in his ways, 
an' I'm the one to know, being his housekeeper for ten 
years. 

BiMP — He's .more set than a settin' hen that wants to set. 
I guess we'll have to give in to 'im, sir. 

Fred — But say — you know Grandfather's a great hand to 
make bargains. I have a plan I believe we can work. 

Mrs. Hale — I don't like to go against your Gran'pa, what 
with me bein' in his service ten years, but I DO love to git 
up Thanksgivin' dinners, an' with the young lady comin' 
I'll help you if I can. 

BiMP — It's myself would like some good roast turkey an' 
all the fixin's ; an' hurrah for Thanksgivin' says I an' 'spe- 
cially the feast, so I'll help you if I can, sir (bows to Fred), 

Fred — Let's go out where we can talk. Grandfather 
might come in here (all exeunt). 

Enter Mr. Cole (zvalking slozvly) 

Mr. Cole (dropping heavily into easy chair) — Oh, they've 
gone — well, 'I can have it quiet to read (picks up magazine). 
I'll read a story. (Reads aloud) — "In the home of Judge 
Graham there was an air of busy excitement. The long 
dining-room table was laid with the best china and silver, 

6 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

while from the kitchen floated savory odors of the coming 
feast. Judge Graham, with a smile of content sat waiting 
for his Thanksgiving guests who — " bah ! a Thanksgiving 
story {throws hook across room) I'm sick of all this Thanks- 
giving trash. 

Enter Fred and Ada 

Fred (as he and Ada sit) — Grandfather, have la cousin 
Sallie Evans? 

Mr. Cole — Very llkeh'. Your Grandmother was an 
Evans and there are a lot of her people. 

Ada — Just think, Grandpa, she is coming to visit us — 
Fred had a letter. Do you suppose she is about our age? 

Mr. Cole — Probably. You must have a lot of cousins 
about that age. 

Ada — And Grandpa, she Is to be here Thanksgiving day. 

Mr. Cole — Thanksgiving day, eh? Well, she can take 
pot luck with the rest of us. We're not keeping Thanks- 
giving this year. 

Ada — Not with our company and all we have to be thank- 
ful for? 

Mr. Cole {rapping zvith cane) — I have nothing to be 
thankful for. 

Fred — Say, Grandfather, I'd like to make a bargain with 
you. 

Mr. Cole — Eh — what's that? A bargain? Well, what 
is it? 

7 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Fred — You think you have nothing to be thankful for? 

Mr. Cole {rapping angrily with cane) — I have told 
you so. 

Fred — Well, if we hear you say five times that you are^ 
thankful — 

Mr. Cole — You'll not hear me say I'm thankful. 

Fred — But if we DO hear you say you're thankful may 
we have a good Thanksgiving dinner? 

Mr. Cole {rapping with cane) -^Y on may. 

Enter Bimp and Mrs. Hale {they stand at hack) 

Mr. Cole — ^'It's a bargain. If I say I'm thankful five 
times we'll observe Thanksgiving in great shape. 

Mrs. Hale {coming forward) — Oh, Mr. Cole, sir, that's 
fine, I DO want to get up a nice Thanksgiving dinner. 

Bimp {coming forzmrd) — That's splendid, sir. I DO 
enjoy a Thanksgiving feast, sir. 

Mr. Cole {grimly) — Hold your horses and don't get ex- 
cited. You won't get a feast in this house. I've nothing to 
be thankful for. 

Bimp — No, sir. Very good, sir. I came in to say, sir, 
that Mr. Ames is here to see you. 

Mr. Cole- — All right — show him in {exeunt Mrs, Hale, 
Bimp and Ada). 

Enter Bimp with Mr. Ames 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

BiMP — Air. Ames, sir (exit). 

Ames — How do 3-ou do, Mr. Cole (sits). A splendid day, 
isn't it? Lovely Thanksgiving weather we're having. Just 
the kind of weather to make folks feel thankful. Yes, in- 
deed. And we surely have lots to be thankful for, our fine 
city, our splendid crops, our nice homes and our many 
blessings. Yes, indeed. 

Mr. Cole — Is that so ? I'm not thankful, — nothing to be 
thankful for. 

Mr. Ames — Oh, yes, indeed, every one has much to be 
thankfulfor. Now I called to see, Mr. Cole, if we couldn't 
interest you in the big Thanksgiving dinner we are going 
to give the poor people of the town. 

Mr. Cole — No, you can't. 

Mr. Ames — We want to serve dinner— a good Thanks- 
giving dinner — to several hundred people. Now I am sure, 
Mr. Cole, you will be glad to give us a good donation. 

Mr. Cole — I'll not give a cent. 

Mr. Ames — Oh, I'm sure you'll give us a nice gift — say, 
twenty-five dollars. 

Mr. Cole — Not a cent! I'm thankful, sir, that I know 
enough not to squander my money. 

Fred — That's once you're thankful, Grandpa (writes in 

little book). 

Mr. Cole — Eh? What? (remembers). Well, you'll not 
get me again. 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Mr. Ames — Well, I'm sure Mr. Cole, when you think 
this over you'll help us. I'll call again. Good day, sir {exit). 

Enter Mrs. Hale 

Mrs. Hale — Oh, Mr. Cole, sir. Farmer Dix is here and 
wants to talk to you. Shall I bring him in? 

Mr. Cole — Well, show him in an' be done with it (exit 
Mrs. Hale). 

Enter Mr. Dix 

Mr. Dix — How-de-do, Mr. Cole. How-de-do {shakes 
hands). I swan, I'm glad to see ye. Aint clapt eyes on 
ye fer a coon's age. Wal, say, now, yer lookin' real pert, 
big as life an' twict as nateral. Feelin' purty good? 

Mr. Cole — Not very good-— real poorly in fact. 

Dix — Shucks, now, that's too bad. Wal, I'll tell ye 
what — ye need more to eat, somethin' real extrv good an' 
bracin'. That's what I come to see ye 'bout. I got the big- 
gest, fattest, finest, juiciest, best A -No. 1 fourteen pound 
turkey ye ever clapt eyes on that I want to sell ye fer 
Thanksgivin' dinner. Want me to bring 'im in tomorrer? 
He's sure some Jim dandy. 

Mr. Cole — No, don't want 'im. "^ Aint keeping Thanks- 
giving this year. 

Dix — Great Scot — ye don't say ! Wal, I wish you'd take 
this feller. When Mis' Hale got 'im roasted you'd never 
want to stop eatin'. 

10 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Mr. Cole — I'm thankful that 1113^ appetite doesn't run 
away with me. 

Fred — That's twice, Grandfather {writes in hook). 

Mr. Cole — Twice? Oh, {confused) yes, well {raps with 
cane) it'll be the last time. 

Dix — Now, look here, sir, I know you'll change your 
mind 'bout this strappin' young turkey giant I've got. I'll 
stop agin tomorrer. 

Mr. Cole — I don't want him {exit Dix). 

Enter Bimp 

BiMP — I — excuse me, sir, but I wish you'd buy that tur- 
key. Mis' Hale wants 'im awful bad, sir, if I might be so 
bold as to say. 

Mr. Cole {angrily) — You tend your own business. Any 
more of this and I'll fire you. I'm thankful I don't have to 
keep you around — ^there are other men I can hire. 

Bimp {to Fred) — That makes once more he's thankful 
{Fred zvrites). 

Mr. Cole {yells) — Silence, and get out of here {throws 
his cane at Bimp who shouts ^^Help" and jumps from room.. 
Fred tries not to laugh, picks up cane and gives it to his 
grandfather, then hurries out) . 

Enter Ada {stands so Mr. C, doesn't see her) 

Mr. Cole — This family makes me tired, but they'll find 
they can't run over me — not yet. I'm thankful that I've got 
a mind of my own. 

11 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Ada — Oh, Grandpa, that's one more thing you're thank- 
ful for. How splendid! (calls). Oh, Fred, come write 
down once more. 

Enter Fred (he writes m book) 

Fred — That makes four times. You're. doing fine, Grand- 
father. 

Mr. Cole (shaking fist at him) — Is that so? Well, there 
won't be another time. 

Ada — Please say it once more. You don't know how 
much we want a good Thanksgiving dinner because cousin 
Sallie will be here. Oh, I'll be glad to see her. What a 
jolly time she and Fred and I will have. 

Mr. C — Well, I'm th — that is, I'm through saying it. 
Your cousin can have beef stew and bread pudding for 
Thanksgiving dinner. 

Ada — How awful! 

Fred— How TERRIBLE ! 

Mr. Cole — Get out of here (waves cane at them. They 
go off and he follows slozuly, limping and using cane). 

CURTAIN 



12 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Scene II. — As before 
Discovered, Fred and Ada 

Fred — I suppose cousin Sallie will come today (sighs). 

Ada — A grand Thanksgiving she will have (wipes eyes). 
I think it is shameful — the first tirne she's ever been here, 
too. 

Fred — Grandfather isn't going to forget himself again 
cind say he's thankful. 

Enter Mr. Cole 

Mr. Cole — I'm glad to see you both looking so happy 
{laughs). 

Enter Miss Sallie 

Miss Sallie (briskly) — The butler told me to come 
right in (goes to Mr. C. zvith hands outstretched). How 
DO you do? I'm SO glad to see you (he looks at her in 
surprise). Why, I don't believe you know me. Didn't you 
get my letter? 

Mr. Cole — Letter? No. (Fred throws up hands and 
gasps). 

Miss Sallie — Well, I'm your cousin Sallie Evans and 
I've stopped to spend Thanksgiving with you (Fred falls 
back into one chair and Ada into another in surprise). 
Surely you remember me — I'm your wife's own cousin and 
we used to be dear friends. I well remember how fine 
looking you were when you and your wife visited us — 

13 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

and you're hardly changed a bit. How lovely that you don't 
grow old. You're real well, aren't you cousin? 

Mr. Cole {straightens up proudly) — I'm glad to see you. 
Yes, I'm thankful to say that I'm still pretty young and spry. 

Fred (jumping up) — Oh, five times! That's five times 
(claps hands). 

Mr. Cole (happily) — I doii't care if it's fifty times. 

Ada — But is it a bargain? 

Mr. Cole — Of course it's a bargain. Get out of this now 
(Fred and Ada run off). 

Miss Sallie — What queer-acting young folks. Who are 
they? 

Mr. Cole — My grandchildren. They're just excited a 
little, that's all. 

Miss Sallie — I'm so VERY glad to be here (takes off 
hat and coat and lays them down. She and Mr. C. sit close 
together). I know we're going to have just the LOVELI- 
EST visit together. I can remember what an interesting 
talker you were when you visited us — though of course I 
was very young then. I told your wife, dear cousin Lottie. 
that you were one of the m.ost entertaining men I ever knew. 

Mr. Cole (smiling happily) — Oh, thank you, cousin 
Sallie. 

Enter Bimp with Mr. Dix 

BiMP — Mr. Lemuel Dix, sir (exit). 

14 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Mr. Dix — W^al, good mornin', good mornin', Mr. Cole. 
I jest dropped in to see if you don't want that nice fat whale 
of a turke}^ today. My wife's bin feedin' 'im till I swan if 
he don't weigh more'n he did yisterday. Says *I to my wife, 
says I, Mr. Cole sure deserves the best that's goin' so I've 
got 'im out here in my wagon. All you've got to do is to 
say the word an' Mis' Hale'll do the rest. 

Miss Sallie — Oh, a nice, big, lovely turkey ! How grand. 
I DO so like turkey for Thanksgiving, cousin Fred. Are 
you going to buy him? 

Mr. Cole — Certainly (zmves hand). You and Mrs. Hale 
fix that up. We want the best of everything for our Thanks- 
giving feast. 

Bix — All right, sir (exit). 

Miss Sallie — I can see this is going to be the best 
Thanksgiving I've spent in years. And I have a great deal 
to be thankful for. 

Mr. Cole (smiling at her happily) — Yes, and so have I. 
Enter Bimp, with Mr. Ames 

BiMP — Mr. Ames, sir {exit). 

Ames — Ah, I hope I don't intrude, Mr. Cole, but I hoped 
you would feel interested today in giving us something for 
our dinner for the poor. 

Miss Sallie — Oh, a dinner for poor people — a Thanks- 
giving dinner. Isn't that a lovely idea, cousin Fred? 

15 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Ames — It's a good idea and it's going to be a good din- 
ner. All we need is the money to buy food. 

Mr. Cole — Oh, yes, the money. Well, put m.e down for 
twenty-five dollars, I like to help these things along. 

Ames — Thank you very much indeed (exit). 

Miss Sallie — Oh, how LOVELY to be so generous 

Mr. Cole (beaming at her) — It's nothing when I have so 
much to be thankful for. 

Miss Sallie — It is LOVELY, Cousin, to sit here and 
visit but I brought my maid with me and I better see how 
she is getting on. The housekeeper took her to a room 
(she rises). 

Mr. Cole — Yes, and we must go see if Mrs. Hale is pre- 
paring everything we want for our Thanksgiving feast (rises 
and takes cane). 

Sallie — Oh, do you have to use a cane? 

Mr. Cole — No, no — merely a notion (he puts cane down, 
straightens up, offers her his arm and they g-o happily off, he 
limping slightly). 

Enter Kate 

Kate (looking around disdainfully) — I don't like it here 
— not the least little tiny bit. It is too dull — the only men 
folks I've had a glimpse of are an OLD man and a green 
looking boy about fifteen years old — what do you think of 
that? I'd like to know how I'm going to have anv good 
time. Ugh, such a foolish place to stop for Thanksgiving — 
what have I to be thankful for when there's no one here 

16 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

but an OLD man and a boy. I've a good notion to go 
someplace. 

Enter Bimp {stands at back) 

Kate (looks at him then comes nearer front) — Oh, now 
isn't he nice? Not so handsome as the ice-man back home 
but feal splendid anyway. I wonder if he can talk. I be- 
lieve I like it here all right. I don't know why I thought 
it was so dull {turns and smiles at Bimp). 

Bimp {coming forzvard and bowing lozv) — Ah, Miss. 

Kate — Oh, tell me, DO you speak English? 

Bimp {surprised) — Speak English? 0£ course, Miss. 

Kate — Oh, I'm SO glad! I don't talk anything but 
English myself. 

Bimp — What can I do for you, Miss ? 

Kate — W'y, talk to me. Do you suppose 1 like to stand 
around by myself with no one to talk to ? {Bimp runs and 
gets two chairs, puts them side-by-side near front and they 
sit, indulging in light conversation. Kate then comes back 
to center after making circle. They join hands with outside 
hands on hips, and go around in a circle as they sing to- 
gether zvith hop-step.) 

Music of Chorus 
Bimp and Kate — 

We're thankful, thankful, thankful, oh, 

As thankful as can be, 
Because we three are here today — 
The turkey, you and me. 
17 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

BiMP — Now, Miss, do come out an' take a look at tV'C 
turkey as he lies in state ready for the roastin'. You can 
look at the turkey, an' I'll look at you an' we'll give thanks 
that this is such a fine world (bows). 

Kate — That will be lovely (they exeunt). 
Enter Fred and Ada 

Fred — Well, Ada, how do you like your young cousin 

Sallie? 

Ada— Oh, that OLD MAID! {both laugh). Well, if we 
don't care about her Grandfathet- does. He hasn't been so 
happy in months. 

Fred — We sure made a mistake. That writing did look 
just like a school girl's — wonder if she wrote it. 

Ada — I asked her about It and she said she was so busy 
she had her sister's daughter write the letter. 

Fred — No wonder we were fooled. Well, it has turned 
out fine for we're going to have a splendid Thanksgiving. 
Grandfather told me to ask Will Jarley for dinner so I'd 
have a chum. 

Ada — He did? Why, he told me to ask Emma Jones so 
I'd not be lonesome. Isn't he splendid ? Hurrah for Thanks- 
giving. 

Fred — Yes, a regular, old-fashioned, thankful Thanks- 
giving {they join inside hands, outside hands on hips, hop 
on right foot, hop on left foot, run three steps, halt, hop 

18 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

as before, then run again, going thus in a circle around the 
room, then off) 

Enter Mr. Cole and Miss SalUe 

(They stand well to the front, several feet apart.) 

BiMP — What shall I talk about, Miss? (beams at her). 

Kate (coquettishly) — Oh, the Ice-man back home always 
has lots to talk about. He tells me how nice looking I am 
an' lots of things. 

BiMP — Aw, that ice-man ! Now, you just ought to hear 
ME tell how nice lookin' you are, Miss. 

Kate — Oh, how splendid! (smiles on him). 

BiMP (gazing at her) — W'y, Miss, you're so nice lookin* 
that — that — you're han'some as — as a rose growin' on a vine. 

Kate (clasping her hands) — Oh, that's better than the 
ice-man talks ! 

BiMP — My, Miss, you ought to hear me when T git 
started — 'I can say lots better things than that. 

Kate — How glad I am that I'm here for Thanksgivin'. 

BiMp — An' so'm I, Miss. 

Kate (leaning toward him)— Why so? 

BiMP — The turkey weighs fourteen pounds, Miss. 

Kate (drawing back, disappointed) — Oh, the turkey! 

BiMP — An' with the turkey tO' eat, an' you to look at. 
Miss, I'll say this is goin' to be a grand Thanksgivin' Day. 

19 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

{He takes her hand and they rise. Bimp puts the chairs 
back at sides of stage then takes her hand and leads her to 
center of stage. She stands while he goes around her in n 
circle, hands on hips, stepping forward with right foot, then 
giving a hop zvith right foot, stepping forward with, left 
then hopping zvith left foot, then with right, as he sings) : 

Tune: Auld Lang Syne ^ . 
Your eyes are bright, your face is fair, 

You are a charming dear; 
I'm very thankful, so Lam, 

Thankful that you are here. 

(He stops at center and Kate goes around him in a circle 

the same as he did as she sings) : 

Kate — Why should I sigh In discontent, 

Or wish myself away? 
Lm sure Lll very happy be 
On this Thanksgiving day. 
(Exeunt Bimp and Kate; enter Miss S'allie and Mr. Cole.) 

Miss Sallie — Oh, we are going to have SUCH a lovely 
Thanksgiving; but, cousin Fred, why do you look sad? 

Mr. Cole — I feel so gloomy (sighs). 

Miss Sallte — Gloomy? And when I am here? (sighs), 

Mr. Cole (very sad) — Lm thinking of when you go-away. 

Miss Sallte — Oh, yes! (moves nearer to him). I could 
stay, you know. Lm sure Ld — love to. 

20 



A THANKSGIVING CONSPIRACY. 

Mr. Cole {shaking head dolefully) — You couldn't marry 
an old man like me. 

Miss Sallie {moving nearer) — Old? The IDEA I 
You're a splendid man and just the right age to suit me. 

Mr. Cole {beaming as he fakes her hand) — Oh, you dear 
girl ! 

Enter Mrs. Hale, {stops at back with hands up in surprise). 

Mrs. Hale {aside) — Mercy me, it looks like something 
was goin' to happen. 

Miss Sallie — You're the dear boy I've been waiting years 
for. {Mr. C. puts his arm around her). 

Enter Bimp and Kate {they stop at back and stare). 

BiMP {aside) — Oh, has he got softenin' of the brain? 

Kate {aside) — No, only softenin' of the heart. 

Mr. Cole {zvith arm around Miss Sallie as he smiles at 
her) — I hope I shall not die of joy. 

Miss Sallie — Die ? Oh, you've got to live for years and 
years ! 

Enter Fred and Ada {they stop at back in surprise). 

Mr. Cole — And may all our Thanksgivings be as happy 
as tomorrow is going to be. {Fred and Ada look on in 
astonishment, Mrs. Hale zmpes her eyes, Bimp smiles at 
Kate and holds her hand, as Mr. C. and Miss Sallie smile 
at each other.) 

CURTAIN 

21 



PLAYS, MONOLOGS, Etc. 

AS OUR WASHWOMAN SEES IT. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 10 
minutes. Nora is seen at the washboard at the home of Mrs. McNeal, 
where, amidst her work, she engages in a line of gossip concerning 
her patrons, that will make a hit with any audience. 25 cents. 

ASK OUIJA. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 8 minutes. A present- 
day girl illustrates to her friends the wonders of the Ouija board. Her 
comments on the mysteries of this present-day fad as she consults 
Ouija will delight any audience. 25 cents. 

COONTOWN TROUBLES. <Bugbee-Berg.) A lively black-face 
song given by Josephus Johnsing, Uncle Rastus and other Coon- 
town folks. 35 cents. 

THE GREAT CHICKEN STEALING CASE OF EB£NEZ!ER 

COUNTY.' (Walter Richardson.) A negro mock trial for 9 males, 2 
females and jurors. Time, 35 minutes. Any ordinary room easily ar- 
ranged. From start to finish this trial is ludicrous to the extreme 
and will bring roars of laughter from the audience. 26 cents. 

THE GREAT WHISBIEY-STEALING CASE OF RUMBOLD VS. 

RYEBOUD. (Walter Richardson.) A mock trial for 11 males and 
jury. The fun increases as the trial proceeds, and reaches a climax 
when the jury decides who stole the whiskey, 25 cents. 

HERE'S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES. 

(Bugbee- Worrell.) Open your ^minstrel with this rousing patriotic 
song. Sheet music. 35 cents. 

THE KINK IN KIZZIE'S WEDDING. (Mary Bonham.) Time, 20 
minutes. For 7 males and 5 females. A colored wedding that will 
convulse any audience with laughter. Said to be the funniest mock 
wedding ever produced. 25 cents. 

/ SHE SAYS SHE STUDIES. A monologue. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) 
A sentimental high-school girl seated with her books preparing the 
next day's lessons, in a highly original and entertaining manner, ex- 
presses her views on the merits of her various studies and her un- 
biased, opinion of her teachers, as she proceeds from book to book in 
the order of her recitation; but when she has finished, you will agree 
that she is very much more of an entertainer than a student, 
25 cents. 

SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH. (Edna I. MacKenzie,) 
Time, 10 minutes. It is time for church and Susan, at her toilet, is 
excitedly calling for nnissing articles and her rapid line of gossip about 
her friends and of certain church activities will bring 3many a laugh, 
25 cents, 

THAT AWFUL LETTER. A comedy of unusual merit, in one act. 
(Edna I, MacKenzie,) For five srirls. Time, 30 minutes. Recom- 
mended for high schools, societies a^d churches. Elizabeth Norton, an 
accomplished college girl from the country, has been reluctantly and 
rudely invited to visit a city cousin, Margaret Neilson, whom she has 
never seen. Finding she is expected to be gawky and uneducated, 
Elizabeth acts the part perfectly. Developments follow thick and 
fast amid flashes of wit, humor and satire from Elizabeth,, who at 
last reveals her real self. Margaret's humiliation is complete and 
there is a happy ending. All the characters are good. The country 
cousin is a star, 25 cents. 

THE UNEXPECTED GUEST. A one-act comedy. (Edna I. Mac- 
Kenzie.) Six females. Time, 45 minutes. The unexpected arrival of 
an eccentric aunt throws, a family into a state of excitement and 
dismay, but before the play is over the unwelcome aunt has en- 
deared herself to her rlatives in quite an unexpected manner. Funny 
situations throughout. 25 cents. 

Paine Publishing Company Dayton, Ohio 



LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 




Paine Publuhing Company 



Dajrton, Ohio 



CHRISTMAS ENTERTAI1™1®IL'*®® ^^l^ 



OHRISTBIAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) 
One of the most popular Christmas plays published, that abounds in 
clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. It depicts the trials 
of the teacher of an old-fashioned "deestric school" in conducting the 
last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Children and grown- 
ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. 25c. 

CHRISTMAS AT MCCARTHY'S. (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A Christ- 
mas play for young folks and children that is brimful of fun from 
start to close and is interspersed with the gentlest pathos. All the 
characters are good. Easy to produce. No special scenery or cos- 
tumes. No Santa Claus. Can be played in any schoolroom. 25c 

CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT S&AOOS'S SKULE. (Marie Irish.) 
Just published. Humorous entertainment for six boys and eight girls, 
including Ole, the Swede; Rastus, the negro; bashful Bill; Jeremiah 
Judkins, the akule clerk; Mis' Skaggs and Mis' Hill, the mothers who 
"help out;" fat little sister; Matildy and Florildy, the twins; Sam 
who st-t-tut-ters; Tiny, and Miss Emmeline Elkins, the teacher. The 
speech by the skule clerk and th» fake Santy Claus are features. 25c. 

CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES. (Cecil J. Richmond.) Every dialogue 
In this book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will 
delight both young and old. The book contains the following: Is 
There a Santa Clause? (2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus); 
Herbert's Discovery (2 boys); The Christmas Dinner (2 little girla, 
1 larger girl, a.nd 2 boys); Playing Santa Claus (1 small and 2 larger 
boys); A Double Christmas Gift (2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 
boys). Many customers have told us that the last namied dialogue is 
worth the price of the book. 25 cents. 

EVERGREEN AND HOLLY— SONG AND DRILL. (Elizabeth F. 
Guptill. A drill for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The 
girls carry garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the 
same. After a spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beau- 
tiful Christmas song, which accompanies the drill. Easy to produce and 
decidedly novel. 25 cents. 

GOOD-BYE, CHRISTMAS GROUCHES. (Irish-Lyman.) A jolly 
CThristmas song for any number of boys and girls. It abounds with 
Christmas cheer and many pleasant surprises. Full of action. Sheet 
music. This popular song will put "pep" in your Christmas enter- 
tainment and will furnish your audience a rare treat. 35 cents. 

POINSETTIA DRILL. (Marie Irish.) A drill for 12 or more 
girls carrying poinsettias. Given to the music of a lively march, 
interspersed with verses to the tune of the song. "Comin' Through 
the Rye." Several diagrams make clear the following of the direc- 
tions. One of the most beautiful Christmas drills published. 25 cents. 

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING. (Irish-Garster.) Song for little 
folks. Easy words and simple action. A pleasing little song that the 
children will enjoy giving and others will enjoy hearing, because of 
its merry humor. Sheet music. 35 cents. 

STARS OF BETHLEHE3I. ( Irish -Leyman.) A beautiful song of 
the Christ Child for either solo or chorus. The music is sweet and 
perfectly suited to the beautiful words. A delightful number for 
children or adults. Sheet music, 35 cents. 

SNOWBOUND FOR CHRISTMAS. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) For 4 
boys and 4 girls. Time, ^5 minutes. The roads being blocked by a recent 
snowstorm, the Simpson family has not been able to get to town to 
do their Christmas shopping. After considerable lamenting by the 
children over their disappointment, Ma Simpson, Pa Simpson, and 
the older children determine upon home-made presents, which results 
in a most pleasant surprise. 25 cents. 

TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS, A. (Elizabeth P. Guptill.) A de- 
cidedly humorous Christmas play for any number of children from six 
to twelve years old. The children ai-e tired of "minding" and of 
everything being "just so," bo thay start to find a place where things 
will be different. There is a pleasing surprise for the audience at every 
turn of the play. 25 cents. 



